Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Oak

Leaves cling onto the fragile twigs 
Branches make a wobbly staircase up the trunk 
The topmost leaves scrape against the sky
Whilst the tree itself blocks my view of the sun
 By Christopher


Jane Bosecke said...

Hi Chris

I enjoyed the 'shape' of your poem. Wow words like 'scrape' and 'cling' add a lot of interest. I LOVE the wobbly staircase image. LOVE IT!

Consider your fourth line, "Whilst..." Read the poem again and see if it really adds to it, or if it could be tweaked a little. Let me know what you decide.

Anonymous said...

you wrote leaves twice maybe you could think of another word for leaves
but LOVE IT!!

Mahana Kotuku said...

Hi Chris,
I like how you wrote the poem. How you coloured it to look like an oak-Pip

Mum said...

Thats an awesome poem Christopher. I liked the way you shaped the poem . The words and the Shape helped me to imagine an oak tree. MUM