Kia ora. We are a bunch of Year 6, 7 and 8 kids at Mahana School, and we're looking forward to sharing our work on this blog.
Please leave us some comments!
Hey JoshI enjoyed the images your poem inspired. Remember how we are activating the nouns by putting a WOW word straight after a noun? So your first sentence, the noun is 'legs'. Could you arrange it differently? eg. "Their legs prickle like blackberry"Their eyes... Instead of writing 'are like', what are the eyes doing? It could become, "Their eyes ______ like little black ball bearings". That's a great image.Please check the spelling of those sneaky homonyms: brakes, there, silentsOverall, this is a neat poem - I was picturing it as I read it. Ka pai!
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