Kia ora. We are a bunch of Year 6, 7 and 8 kids at Mahana School, and we're looking forward to sharing our work on this blog.
Please leave us some comments!
Clouds layer the sky like a thick white blanket
Leaves sway on the branches that sway and creak
Bugs crawl over the compact ground
The sun stammers over the mountains reaching the other side
Be wary of using the same word in a poem - sway and sway.
What sort of picture does the word 'stammer' create to you? In my mind, I think of stuttering and stammering and that's really not smooth at all. Is that the picture you want to convey to your readers? Does the sun move jerkily or smoothly?
2 comments:
love it awsome
Hey Tiarne
Loved your opening line. Loved it.
Be wary of using the same word in a poem - sway and sway.
What sort of picture does the word 'stammer' create to you? In my mind, I think of stuttering and stammering and that's really not smooth at all. Is that the picture you want to convey to your readers? Does the sun move jerkily or smoothly?
So important to choose your WOW words carefully.
You're getting the hang of it Tiarne. Keep it up!
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