Thursday, March 6, 2014

The World

The cut grass smothers the plants,
The trees prick the blue sky,
Childrens voices sing happily,
Sun ricochets down to the ground and brightens up our beautiful world.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Pip

What sort of image do the words 'prick' and 'smother' evoke to you? Are you trying to convey an image of 'loveliness' or something more harsh? Consider your choice of words carefully to ensure you are giving a clear image to your reader.

Ricochet creates a particularly vivid image! Ka pai.

Mahana Kotuku said...

Thanks!
I wil try and do that.
Pip

Anonymous said...

hiiiiii pippie love it i like the clouds prickleing the sky part

LOVE IT!!!!!!

reily said...

hi pip Ka pai

paige said...

pip your a great person
and
I LOVE IT